Annual Holiday Destination for 2011: Kashmir

Finally I have decided the destination for my annual vacation in September. I have been taking my annual vacations in September since a long time now, and this year will be no different. This year the destination is Kashmir.

I am thrilled because I have never been to Kashmir. The reason I have chosen Kashmir is because a very close friend of mine ..(You all know Iram...:D) is getting married in September in Srinagar. (Which is fantastic because this meant that I did not have to waste time on deciding the destination for this year. YAY!)

I will have the final dates by Thursday so just keeping my fingers crossed for perfect days and a well planned holiday.

If any of you have been to Kashmir then please leave comments regarding: Places to go, things to do and shopping :D.

FYI: It will be a 7 day long trip.

Thrilled
Drama Queen

For my lovelays!

Just got off a long phone call with Shru. The phone call reminded me of how much I love my girlfriends. How much I can trust them for being with me in times of crisis. So this one is for my girlfriends. Yes all of them....Kanchu, Shruti, Neha, Saumya and Garima. Thanks a LOT for always being there for me.
You guys are my knight in shining whatever LOL!

I can think of a wonderful quote by Lee Iacocca that pretty much sums up my friendship with you guys!

"My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life."

 xoxo
Drama Queen

Where's my happy ending?

I have been trying to write this post from the last two hours. And I seem to be so confused about publishing it that I saved it in drafts twice. Never the less, here it goes.....

My mother is visibly upset with me. Reason: I did not attend a very close family friend's daughter's engagement party yesterday evening. Where was I ? Trying to find my own happy ending. Did I get it ? No. Not everybody is lucky in the happy ending department. Why did I stay away from the party? As much as I am happy for Charu (the girl/bride/lucky in the H E Department) I felt that it would be a stab in my chest to see everybody getting a very happy ending with their boyfriends/lovers/partners (whichever you prefer) and I am the only one who is unlucky to be forever trying to work it out with Big (who I am convinced is not bothered even the remotest bit) So i decided to not attend any such party or celebration where I cannot truly be a part of someone's happiness because I am loathing over my own inability to find someone as crazy and bollywoody LOL as I am. I don't want to go to such parties and stand in a corner and sulk over my miseries in the love department. And, NO I am not miss goody two shoes who thinks like Tulsi of some television show, that you should be happy in everybody else's happiness and not even think about yours. Well Tulsi had a husband, she did not have to worry about what to wear on a date, she did not have to worry about whether her boyfriend is taking it as a casual fling or whether he is serious, she did not have to feel sorry for herself when every time her boyfriend knelt it was not to propose but to pick up a pen or any other less-important-than-a-ring object. I am convinced Tulsi never had to deal with a heart wrenching break up where her boyfriend was a bigger commitment phoebe than Godzilla himself. (Any comparison here with a giant monster is purely size based). So I conclude I am not miss goody two shoes.

I feel bad, I feel horrible when I see my facebook page smothered with announcement/engagement/wedding pictures of friends and sometimes juniors from school. Do I want a wedding right now? NO. But I do want someone whom I am convinced I will spend the rest of my life with.

To Conclude:
My ability to choose an inappropriate partner is legendary. I wish I do not pass this to my children.

Not So Much Love
Me :(

A dream I dream.....

                                                                           Source: Chon's

I think almost all of you know how much I want to have my own house one day. Don't get me wrong. I do love my parents and their house but I just think I need to have my own to feel at home. Wow! Did that just rhyme?
Coming to the point, I have had this image saved neatly on my desktop for a very long time now. Everytime I picture myself having a home, I imagine a house like this. This is just an area in a house but it symbolizes me. Let me tell you how....It has an open kitchen plan which a chic' breakfast area (bar stool area) which is exactly what I want to have when I have a home. I want to be able to have an area to cuddle while having a late sunday brunch. I want to be able to cook and serve 'live' lol!
The soothing blue color on the wall is exactly the shade that I want on my walls. Oh how I love this picture. And I can only hope and pray I have a home soon enough to realize my design dream.

Will post more on home...Laterzzz

Dreamy
Me :)

Old Drafts.....I should have published.

I loved him for so long and he has punished me for it. He ended up treating me like someone he owned instead of someone he earned. And it destroyed me.

Happiness is not the most important thing. People don't like sonnets about being compatible or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversations. Great loves are crazy ones. Great Love, for us.....it's complicated, intense, all consuming, no matter what we do, how much we fight it always pulls us in. What's mere happiness in the face of all that.

Dear A,

When I asked you forever ago, What are we A.... last winter you said we couldn't be together...and I believed you. But every time I tried to move on, you are right there. Maybe you just want me to be, just as unhappy as you are. And if you want me to be happy, then look down deep into the soul, I know you have. And tell me if what you feel for me is real or if it just a game. If it is real, we'll figure it out. All of it. But if it is not then please just let me go.

Me

They say parting is such sweet sorrow. But wouldn't it be nice if just for once ...it didn't have to be.

Love
Me :) 

ROFL *Holding my Stomach coz it hurts*

# 1...4...5

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Shivani !

1. Shivani will often rub up against people to lay her scent and mark her territory!
2. In a pinch, the skin from a shark can be used as Shivani .
3. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Shivani .
4. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by Shivani fighting underground.
5. India tested its first nuclear Shivani in 1987.
6. Shivani can squeeze her entire body through a hole the size of her beak.
7. Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the amount of Shivani in your ear 700 times.
8. It's bad luck to whistle near Shivani !
9. You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Shivani to reach the earth's core!
10. Shivani is actually a mammal, not a fish!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Life: A leap of faith

When Charles Dickens wrote - "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" who knew he was talking about my life or more accurately, my mid twenties. I have seen, many a teenagers or young adults, like myself, exclaim at times that life is a roller coaster. Now, I wouldn't completely agree with that because I have not been faced with situations as extreme as a roller coaster ride, however,  to a certain degree I do agree that life is in essence a mix of emotions just like the ones felt while on a roller coaster ride.

When I started blogging, way back in 2007 I started with the idea of maintaining a journal so that I could archive my emotions, sensibilities and thoughts all on one page. As I read through the old posts I see that I have come a long way. I might have faced slumps and I might have experienced some great highs but I  have never ceased to be the person that I always knew I was. I have surprised myself a lot of times, times when I stopped looking forward, times when I questioned my capabilities, times when I questioned my very being, but I am glad to announce I did survive. I survived professional slumps, I survived damaging break ups, I survived living alone for a long period, I survived losing my sister, I survived losing a close one to cancer right in front of my eyes, I survived packing up his life long belongings into one truck load all by myself.  I did survive and this should act as a great example for future reference. We all just survive. What we must not forget is life just moves on. Life is all about living. Just living.

As I look at my life now, I think of this wonderful quote by George Eliot ..."It's never too late to be what you might have been"


xoxo
Drama Queen 

What I learnt from 24 years of life on earth...

This is a comprehensive list of the things I have learnt from life in general including- relationships, dating, girlfriends, campus life...and blah batshit in general. 

1. You cannot please everyone. You just cannot do it. So don't even try it because in your attempts to do so you might not please anyone. Just be practical. Just think what is right at that moment and do that. You might not please anyone at that moment but in doing the right thing you are only making tomorrow a better day to face. 
2. Give yourself 'at least' six months of dating before you leap onto a relationship(I mean,with the same person). This is a big huge lesson and this also happens to be the lesson I never followed until I learnt the hard way.(And why this is an important lesson, requires a separate blog post which I shall soon write) 
3. Chicks before dicks:This rule has no substitute. And I know almost 90% of the girls do otherwise. Don't sideline your girlfriends when you have a boyfriend. Boyfriend (unless straight from heaven) will dump you in the worst possible way (I can't even begin to tell what all batshit people can come up with just to break up) but your girlfriend will stick around even after you have practically broken her favorite Estee Lauder Lipstick. *drum roll for girlfriends* 
4. Never share your assignments with friends (who claim to be your friend and then copy your assignment word by word, knowing very well that plagiarism or collusion can lead to a 'fail' for you.) When in India where plagiarism is a non existential offence ..this rule does not apply. Copy and let others copy. LOL 
5. When you have a touchy relationship with people. (In my case my SIL)...Silence is Golden. Just mind your own business and forget about other's existence and you will be in eternal peace.
6. Dump the guy who cant own being with you, at the first possible opportunity. This needs no explanation. 

I'll post more when I can recollect all of them. But for now these are the important ones. 

Laterzz..

xoxo

Me :) 

Heaven-ly Saturday!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I turned a corner this week and to celebrate my personal achievement or success at moving on I am giving myself a restful weekend. Yes, I am actually not doing anything this weekend. No chores, No going out, No drinking, No fried food and No disturbing thoughts. I have a big smile on my face because my mind is rested. I had a fabulous and peaceful Saturday. I slept through most of it and had lovely heaven like dreams. 

I have always had this vision of what heaven would look like for me. So yes, I do believe in heaven and hell. And to a certain degree I hope and think I will go to heaven. (Self confidence...!!!! :D). So my vision of heaven is somewhat like a song from any Yash Chopra movie shot in scenic Switzerland. Only I am alone in that dream , draped sexily in a satin sheet LOL yes A sheet .....(No there is no reference of any man I might or might not sleep with in heaven - Its just me in a sexily draped sheet LOL) running in a lush green field (It sounds so moronic but it is actually a beautiful sight) and there comes a time when I turn around and just fall freely on the grass (Cushy grass!) on my back and just stare at the clear blue sky. 

Imagine the lovely lush green fields with flowers all around that they show in Yash Chopra movies. Yeah THAT! 

So I dreamt about my vision this afternoon. I never wanted to wake up from that beautiful dream. Only, I am now thinking how many miles I must have ran before I turned around if the dream lasted for 4 hours. PHEW! But it was beautiful. The sky was blue, there were mountains all around and I was draped in a lovely satin sheet (red in this dream) and running in a field full of lush green. Ahhh! Fantasies people have! 

Anyways, so tomorrow the restful weekend plan continues and as crazy as I sound right now but, I am smiling whilst even writing this post. LOL 

Laterzzzz...

xoxo

Me :) 

Emotional Duck-ism

I am an emotional duck.

There is a saying about how ducks and swans are seen to be gliding along the surface of a water body, all smooth, elegant, serence and calm, while underneath, their feet are going rapidly to keep them going.
Yeah, well that's me and my emotional casserole.

I feel like I turned a masive corner this week.These last few weeks, or maybe even this last month has been a hard one but a certain peace and calmness has come over me and a very clear sign of the same, is the fact, that I slept like a log without any disturbing dreams for straight 11 hours! Sound sleep had become a distant dream since a couple of weeks. I could not sleep properly, I could not enjoy food, I could not enjoy just being in my skin. Something clicked, I cannot put a finger on what it was, but something just clicked and I feel, well, relieved.

It's really nice to come out of a week and feel like getting through the next week is something I can actually do. I am finally able to focus my energy on planning. If you know me, you'd know that planning and looking forward (no matter how successful or unsuccessful it is) makes me feel good. And somehow, suprisingly enough, my plans -when not successful- do not shatter my hapiness. When I am at my best, I shrug the disappointment off and say to myself "time for some new ones". And yet again, I start to look forward.

For now, that's all I have to say. Will post a lot ...soon!

xoxo
Drama Queen

I'm lovin it!

Today was the first day of enjoying singledom. (After long tense months of trying to work out a relationship) I don't know what was wrong or perhaps right today. I was super bubbly and just happy (I don't know why-but isn't that good)

I felt that zing in me again after such a long time. Seems like YAY I am happy again. I realized that if someone would rather look for new reasons everyday on why we should not be together rather than being with me, then I am pretty much just better off being single.

A close friend of mine had suggested some time back
"just be single and enjoy the attention"....and Guess what ..I just did that today!

YAY! For the first time since months...I actually feel happily single! And I am lovin it! La La La!

A BIG TOUCHWOOD!

Love
Me :)

Big just Died for me!

End of the story.
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Relieved

I have finally managed to secure the blog. This blog is now visible only to certain selected people. You cannot Google it, you cannot just read it if you have the link. You need to be an approved reader (approved by me obviously) to be able to view my blog. This has come as such a huge relief since I did not want people at my work place or just random people to read my blog. So if you can see it, you are the privileged lot...he he.

Love,
Me :) 

Working on this blog! Yay!

I am trying to make this blog as user friendly as I can. In my attempts to do so I have added a couple of gadgets and removed some non functional ones.

On the right hand side you can see a Label Cloud. I am trying to label all my blog posts but it will take me a week to finish them all. But meanwhile I have labelled some of the posts which will be visible under the respective labels. This helps in identifying similar blog posts for example, all the posts which have images will be labelled under Images. One post can have more than one label so don't be confused if you see the same posts in two different labels. (I don't think you will put in so much brain and effort on my mindless blog he he but what the hell I am doing my duty of informing my lovely audience :D (I am such a drama queen ...like I ever said) 

Also, I am doing both of us a big favor by Previewing the post before I publish it which results in lesser mistakes in grammar, spelling and punctuation. Don't expect me to write fancy because I cannot. This is my diary and I blab in my diary. Please like it for what it is :)

Love 

Me :)

My Make up Essentials

Please note that I do not use all of them together LOL....I am a light make up person. But these are the essentials that I use whenever I do.

1. I love eye lash curler. I think its one of the best inventions he he. (In the make up world I mean LOL) 
2. MAC Kohl Sticks in Black and Grey. 
3. Body Shop Blush (in natural tone) - No. 10 Fard A Jous
4. Maybelline Mascara - XXL and Full n Soft, (Even Colossol volume is good)
5. Lip Balm - Any would do, I am currently using The Little Green Tin by Superdrug 
6. Elizabeth Arden Dual Lip Gloss in Naturals- Sunset and Sunrise ..(LOVE IT! Its yummy too lol) 
7. MUST HAVE : Lancome Star Gloss - Clear Lip Shine without any bling or tint. Louuvvvee It. 
8. My Favourite Lipsticks : Estee Lauder Signature Lipstick - Dune Rose No.11  and The Body Shop No.56 (YUM) and CK No. 204 Abstract - Delicious Truth 
9. For make up remover I use : The Body Shop's Camomile Gentle Eye Make Up Remover OR Boots Botanics Soothing Eye Make Up Remover. 

I am not bragging about any products. I just believe in wearing sasta clothes and good make up LOL....he he pasie bachao paise kharcho especially if you are on a shoe string budget like mine.

Love 

Me :) 

Books that I am currently reading or about to start

This is actually a vague list of what I will be reading over summer. Please note that I am reading two of them currently.

1. Laughable Loves - Milan Kundera
2. The unbearable lightness of being - Milan Kundera
3. Prince of Ayodhya  and 3 more parts of the series - Ashok K. Banker 
4. The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana - Umberto Eco 
5. The Island of Day Before - Umberto Eco 
6. Inferno- Dante 
7. My Name is Red - Orhan Pamuk 
8. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the night time - Mark Haddon 
9. Jawaharlal Nehru An Autobiography 
10. Snow - Orhan Pamuk 

Now, out of the ten mentioned above, I have already read My name is Red by Orhan Pamuk maybe twice or thrice. It is one of my favorite books and I plan to re-read it this summer. 

I am currently reading the unbearable lightness of being by Milan Kundera and I just began The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana by Umberto Eco . I personally do not recommend reading more than one book at a time because I personally feel you cannot be completely absorbed in a book when you are having a fling with another. But there is something peculiar about The unbearable lightness of being. It is very textually rich and heavy in matter and every time I read it I cannot get past 6-7 pages because it actually leaves my head a bit heavy. It provokes thoughts I never knew I could have. It invigorates a process in my mind that brings my mind to unrest. (Did that make sense) All I know is it does something that I cannot express in words for those are strong emotions we are talking about.  

This is the reason why I am reading another book (The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana - Umberto Eco) along with it, which calms the unrest in my mind. I have just started it, so it is a bit early to comment on it. But I will keep you posted. 

If there are any books you would like to suggest, please feel free to drop a comment. 

Love

me :)

What's in my Bag???

A peek into what's in my bag.....
I am absolutely in love with this delicious River Island Black Quilted Shopper Bag which I have had for a year now but I cannot seem to get enough of it.
. 
They had a very limited stock of these bags (Which were replicated A LOT...there were some downright cheap copies that I saw, and that totally broke my heart yet, I had the consolation that I picked the original at the right time and at the right place.) It is not a very expensive bag, I vaguely remember paying £30 for it and it is specifically from the River Island store in Liverpool (my favorite RI outlet so far). Enough about the bag. I must get to the point now...What is in it ?
These are the things I usually carry in my bag. I am sure this explains why I will never be seen with small bags. I think they are a waste of money (its a highly personal opinion, so those of you who like them please do not take offence)

1. Spectacles w/ case (shiny golden one he he BLING BLING)
2. Sunglasses (even though I hardly ever use them, I think it is always advisable to carry a pair.)
3. House keys...The key ring is from Delhi Haat for Rs70 ...its soo pretty ..(but chipped in a week :( ...total raste ka maal saste mein) 
4. My ID card from work- whether its a weekday or a weekend it is always in by bag because I am so careless and I can't afford to lose it. 
5. USB  or Flash Drive - just random stuff like my resume, some pictures,a couple of songs and some other random stuff (I don't even know what, havnt checked in aged) 
6. My phone and an extra cover for my BB, (I carry the hot pink case as an extra because even though I like it, but it can be really annoying at times so I use the original BB case)And unlike some people I CAN LIVE WITHOUT MY PHONE, I do NOT think it is an absolute necessity. 
7. My wallet (needs no explanation) 
8. Lip Balm - My green tin YAY 
9. A perfume. It could be any..I am not fussy but I do not like to carry around big bulky bottles. Something medium size does it for my bag ;-) 
10. A couple of pens.
11. Chewing Gum! A MUST MUST HAVE. 
12. My makeup pouch/bag or whatever it is. 
13. A pair of earphones (or ear plugs or headsets...I don't know what's the correct terminology...My Vocab is horrible...but I think headsets are the ones that rest on your head and outer surface of your ears...pffttttt..let it be) 
14. Some loose powder (I have never used it yet I have never bothered to take it out-I hoard)  
15. Tampons (that pink can) 
16. I also carry wet tissues or hand sanitizer(I am wondering why it is not in the picture..probably its somewhere in the bag)

Pheww that is a lot of stuff and a long list but yeah that's about it. 

Love 

Me :)

Freshhhhhhh!!!

I know you are absolutely bored out of your wits by reading about my sob stories with Big!(Even though I am not :( ...) So just to keep you happy and interested I am going to upload a couple of posts which will be very different from what I have done till now. The following three will be up in a couple of minutes.

1. What's in my bag?
2. Books I am in process of reading and about to begin....
3. My Make Up essentials! (yah I knw....LOL) 

Hope you like them! 

P.S Also a note to people in the mailing list:.(READ: KANCHU) Stop replying back to those blog post mass emails. They are BOUNCE emails sent by an external server/mailbox (I don't exactly know what) When you comment on them (By hitting the REPLY button), I don't get them as blog post comments, I get them as emails in the obscure email id I DO NOT USE! ..and yes I love you too. 

If you all wish to comment ....Please comment on the blog posts. Just because I have given you guys the ease of reading the blog posts the moment I post them...directly through an e-mail does not mean I will NOT appreciate your effort of coming to my blog and POSTING A COMMENT! I love you all..:)

Love, 

Shivani 

View From Work ....:D

View from the Workstation :)

Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Found It!

Finally found my watch, that had gone missing around 3 months back. Apparently it was buried under my winter clothes which were packed off for next winters a couple of months back. My domestic help decided to check if I had folded them nicely and kept pot pourri (Big taught me its prounced as ..PAWPOURRI- (So credit here) sachets in my winter clothes(for leeping away the stale smell), and thats when it occured to me that the watch is missing ever since winters got over. I dug out all clothes, and there it was, lying at the bottom of the bag ...waiting to be found. Awwww my lovely little watch. Me loves it xoxo.......

Post the lovely find...I decided to shower it with lots of love lol so I kept it for good 4 hours in its cushioned box so that it could feel at home one again. (yes I am bordering on craziness ...or maybe I am there already) ...and I am wearing it now...Yay!

I gave lots of TLC to all my watches today so that they knew that I am always concerned about them...and that I love them a lot!

Next Mission: Find the missing iPod! 

Love
Me :)