From the bottom of my stomach

I am at a point where i can clearly see myself standing in the present. Its like standing on the shared border of two countries, you stand in the middle and can clearly see where you come from and where you are going, only I have not felt this weird in the stomach about what is coming in a very long time. I always thought wow I have so much to look forward to but now I am scared, confused and very very weak in deciding whats best for me and whats the right thing to do for years to come.
I have a job offer that requires me to sign a two year bond. It seems like a small amount of time but I feel so weird getting tied down. What if I dont like it in the first week? I don't want to drudge it for 24 straight months.
I am handling a break up that refuses to breakup in my head. Very difficult situation because it just doesn't go. Some days I think I am there, I am ready to move on and the next day I would feel resentful, angry and hurt all over again. It sounds Menopause-ish.

More to come
Love
Me :/ 

Life is giving me lemons.....

When I was sixteen I had a vision of what my life would look like in mid twenties and there on. Clearly I am not living my vision. The picture is of disappointment. A clear personal disappointment. Disappointment of what I wanted and what I have become.
Me :(
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